Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Ok, What's With All the Machetes?

What's with the machete attack meme? Earlier this month at the Long Branch Giant, a man was crossing the parking lot when a car rolled up and a few guys got out and demanded his wallet. Even though he gave it up, they cut him with a freaking machete anyway. Not very cricket, if you ask me.  

The Long Branch area has of course been the location of a number of shocking crimes in the past few years, some of which also involved machetes, so this doesn't come as a particular surprise. I actually prefer that Giant to the one in downtown Silver Spring, though you certainly wouldn't catch me dead in the parking lot by myself at 1am. Or actually, if I was there at that time you probably would find me dead.

The day after the attack at the Giant, and also around 1am, three machete-wielding assailants pursued a man in a SSINO area off New Hampshire Avenue before "fleeing in three Hondas".   I guess aspiring machete murderers can't be bothered to rideshare.

(All incident information comes via the Gazette's crime blotter.)


Patrick Thornton said...

Why do you prefer that Giant to the one in downtown Silver Spring?

Are there people with ninja swords there?

historian4hire said...

Machetes aren't just for murderers and urban stalkers, don't you know. You should never judge a machete wielding neighbor simply by the size of his or her blade. Back when I was in college and working as an archaeologist for Georgia DOT I would do fieldwork in the mornings and rush to a MARTA station to take trains into downtown Atlanta for afternoon/evening classes at Georgia State University. Here's a great rush hour commuting tip: carry a machete and be covered with grime, some blood, and smell ripe. Guaranteed seat to yourself!

Anonymous said...

There's a new movie out at the Regal called "Machete". I think it's a latin american thing.

Springvale Roader said...

Machete kills! Machete kills again!

Anonymous said...

Iran and Venezuela are getting pretty buddy-buddy these days. Might there be some nefarious machete terrorism connection that is ultimately being pipelined into Silver Spring? Could Valerie Ervin be part of the plot by throwing the locals a red herring, the library pedestrian bridge? I hope someone at Homeland Security is taking notice of what is going on at the doorstep of The Nation's Capital.

JS said...

Why can't the media focus on the good news, like all the people who weren't attacked with machetes last week?

Anonymous said...

Because THAT does not sell...

gingerR said...

I like that Giant off Piney Branch too.

The parking lot is easy. In fact, I avoid Whole Foods and Trader Joe's because of their parking lots.

I would rather take my chances on a nut with a machete than suffer the nastiness of a surburanite in a Volvo or a Prius.

However, I would be careful in the parking lot near the Long Branch library because it's surrounded by a wooded area and offers a lot more opportunities for people to rob you and get away quickly. The lot at Giant is pretty wide open and offers few places for people to lurk.

Bruce said...

I've been going to that Giant for over 40 years now. Never had a problem.

I actually love that neighborhood. It's far more alive than most of SS. It will be interesting to see how the train changes things.

Alison Stonewall said...

What a shocking news article, I wonder if these problems are still going on. I think Jacob Carlson would be interested in this.

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