My newest Silver Spring pipe dream (preceded by my as-yet-unrealized schemes to open a bagel shop or gelato stand) is to renovate the underground Capri movie theater on Fenton Street and use it to screen a variety of cult movies and other films you can’t generally see at regular theaters. We'd have stuff like midnight showings of The Big Lebowski, Bollywood movies, kung fu matinees and zombie marathons. I realize that other recent independent movie theater ventures in the area haven't fared so well, but what the hell - maybe I can get a sweet deal on the rent since they clearly aren't getting any revenue from the space now. I would baptize my theater with obvious name of "Silver Spring Underground".
I emailed the property management company last week but as of yet have received zero response. At minimum I’d like to do a little urban exploration and snap some photos of the place. Who knows what condition it's in after thirty years of disuse. Anyone know the security guard over there or someone else who could let me in for a few minutes?
- On the subject of movie theaters, I went to a noon showing of Watchmen at the Majestic yesterday afternoon thinking that perhaps at a weekday matinee I could actually see a movie in peace. The box office and concession areas were gloriously empty:
(On a side note: as a former movie concession stand employee, I can tell you that you shouldn't buy any hot dogs before the first show of the day - those are the same ones that were rolling around on the warmer at 2 AM the night before.)
Once in the theater itself, there were maybe three other people there for the movie. At that point my chances for an uninterrupted moviegoing experience were looking pretty good. I made it about two hours into the nearly three-hour-long movie without a disturbance when in walks a pair of muppets pulling a double freeture who proceeded to conduct a conversation in their normal speaking volume until the closing credits ran. To add insult to injury, during the movie’s final scene two other clowns come through the entrance and start yelling to each other.
Clown 1: “THIS JONCE IS EMPTY!!!!!”
Clown 2: “EMPTY???”
Then, upon realizing that this particular jonce was in fact occupied, they started counting out loud the number of people in the theater. Why they were doing this, and what they planned to do in an empty theater, I can't imagine and probably don't want to know.
The moral of this story is that no matter when you go to the Majestic and no matter how quiet it may appear on the surface, you can't expect to remain undisturbed indefinitely. At the Silver Spring Underground, behavior like this will not be tolerated. Our ushers will be armed with Tasers and they will tase you, bro.
At least now there is one new service that can make your Majestic experience slightly more tolerable: you can now buy and print out tickets online, allowing you leave the box office lines to the suckers.
- TIP: If you received the Downtown Silver Spring coupon book in the mail this past week, be sure not to chuck it along with your standard junk mail. There are actually some worthwhile deals in there, such as $10 off $50 at Whole Foods and 20% off at Strosnider’s. These two discounts in particular are as good as cash as far as I'm concerned. Also, the regular ValPak mailings have some good ones too, as stuffed between the multiple duct cleaning offers is an excellent coupons for the Mr. Wash carwash on Georgia.