So the stock market has completely collapsed, unemployment is growing, the number of foreclosures is increasing rapidly... what does this all mean for Silver Spring?
Will the Fillmore project continue as planned? (Has it ever?) I don't care what zoning hurdles it recently cleared or if the Sarah-Palin-loving Lees are ready to proceed - I could easily see Live Nation pulling out now, citing deteriorating economic conditions (who wants to pay $100 to see Jay-Z anymore?). I sincerely doubt IMP would rush in to take their place, despite what they may have claimed in the past.
The only live music you are going to be enjoying in downtown Silver Spring for the foreseeable future is a raggedy guy on the corner of Fenton and Ellsworth repeatedly playing "Three Blind Mice" on a recorder while collecting nickles in an old Orioles hat.
Once the county puts the brakes on the civic center, the area that was once "The Turf" will become become the site of Silver Spring's main "Bushville". Folks driven from their foreclosed Burtonsville McMansions will establish a tent city rife with dysentery and consumption. It will not be dissimilar in atmosphere to the parking lot of the old Silver Spring "Typhoid" McDonald's. Some of you may recall what I'm talking about.
We can suspend the endless arguments over the configuration of the Purple Line - who's going to pay for the thing anyway? County tax receipts aren't going anywhere but down. Hey, there won't be any jobs to commute to, so would we really need it anyway? If it does get built, it may end up looking something like this:
I guess we shoulda built it while we had the chance.
The one project the county should proceed with is the new downtown library, but without limiting its size as some fear they are doing. If there's one group whose ranks will be swelling in the coming months it will be the homeless, a core public library demographic.
Perhaps this economic crisis will prove to be the catalyst for the long-awaited City Place Renaissance. Marshall's should see a big spike in the sale of crap clothes, and Steve & Barry's will sell $5 pieces of clothing like hotcakes. What's with their "going out of business" sale, anyway? Are they having a sale because that store is going out of business or because other stores are? Their picket signs are somewhat vague.
So what's my personal plan for weathering the economic apocalypse? By living off the land. Don't think this can be accomplished in an edge city? Oh, I assure you it can.
For starters, I will take to hunting game in Sligo Creek Park. There's certainly plenty of deer, and while I'll feel guilty about taking their lives, it's them or me. If you live near the park and a stray bullet from a Bushmaster rifle flies through your bedroom window, my bad. Inevitably, however, the deer population will become decimated at the hands of starving suburbanites. At that point I will have to switch to smaller prey. The thought of it isn't particularly appetizing, but Silver Spring has a boundless population of squirrels that can be used for subsistence if necessary. Every time I walk out my front door these days, half a dozen or more go scattering for the trees. I'll also enjoy "seafood"on occasion - crayfish collected from under rocks in Sligo Creek.
Along with my neighbors, I will also establish a collective farm located in Sligo Creek Park where we'll grow a variety of fruits and vegetables. Of course, we'll need to take shifts standing guard in order to protect our harvest from those thieving hobos. I'll also need to be vigilant and remember to not leave hot pies cooling unattended on my windowsill.
You might think that this is all completely absurd, but you haven't seen my 3rd quarter 401K statement.
Posts
