Friday, September 26, 2008

Wait, I still function!!!

Well, it's been three weeks since my last post. One might speculate that I've simply become lackadaisical, but the truth is that I suspended my blogging in order to rush to Washington to single-handedly fix the financial crisis. No, really. I just reared my head and went into the airspace of Washington, D.C. I'm an expert on the crisis because you actually can see D.C. from land here in Silver Spring. It is from Silver Spring that we send those out to make sure that an eye is being kept on this very powerful city, Washington, because they are right there. They are right next to, to our city. Our next-door neighbors are other states and districts, they're in the state that I am a blogger of.

But hey, what has actually changed in the past three weeks? The Fillmore project hasn't progressed one bit, people are still endlessly discussing the new library, and the Purple Line... well, whatever.

Anyhow, I just wanted to use this as an excuse to make an obscure Transformers: The Movie reference (again) and assure you I will try to get back to my normal routine in the upcoming week. I hope to have full details on the zombie walk soon, so keep an eye out for that.


really said...

Never. Ever. Point out how long it's been since your last post. That's for losers. Just post, as often as you have something useful to say.

Anonymous said...

How 'bout the ground-breaking for the Paul S. Sarbanes Transit Center that was held at 12:30 pm today?

Sligo said...

Man... Everyone pile on! Yeah it was a token post but I was just forcing myself to get back on the wagon.

Re: transit center

Call me when it's done. How about a Fillmore groundbreaking?

Anonymous said...

We just miss you....

Mike said...

Want a Fillmore ground-breaking? Write the council at and tell them. There's an important committee meeting Monday, so doing it today wouldn't be too soon.

nikki said...

Well done on the Plain dig. Truly, Bravo! The post was worth it just for that.

Anonymous said...

Unrelated to anything, but every single person I meet in the entier DC area is a fucking selfish, nasty douchebag. WTF is wrong with all you people???

This is like living in Mexico City. You people seriously all suck.

Anonymous said...

And yes, I meant "entire." I typed fast. So suck me.

Mortis Olaf said...

We're douchebags compared to who? New Yorkers? West Virginians?

Anonymous said...

Yes, mortis olaf. You people are douchebags compared to West Virginians. And compared to NYers. And compared to everyone I've ever met. You all suck.

ForestGlen said...

Sounds like someone couldn't hack it in Washington...poor baby. Now go back home.

Anonymous said...

No, forestglen, I can't hack it in Washington. This city's a shithole. I'm tired of being harassed by feral criminals every time I leave the house, tired of being harassed, called racist epithets, threatened, etc. On the flip side, I'm tired of going out to a bar or wherever and having random white people I don't even know start ranting about "the blacks" and the "ni**ers" to me. I'm tired of how everyone in this city at best dislikes and at worst hates everyone else.

I'm tired of being in danger every time I cross Colesville because of some douchebag lawyer or govt shithead who thinks red lights don't apply to him. I'm tired of these self-important fucks who can't stop yapping on their cellphones long enough to maybe not mow down a pedestrian who's crossing with the light in a crosswalk. I've never lived anywhere that people were so arrogant and callous to those around them, and I've LIVED IN THE THIRD WORLD.

I'm tired of going to bars where 23-year-old douches financed by their rich parents in some Red state get into fights and talk about how much cocaine or hash they do. I'm tired of working with people who won't speak to anyone else in the company unless that person can help them get a promotion. I'm tired of incompetent service employees who treat everyone they come into contact with like shit. I'm tired of paying more than Manhattan prices for food, drinks, and atmosphere that suck monkey penis compared to what you can get in even an average, middle-class industrial suburb in the Midwest. I'm tired of apologists for this overpriced shithole who think it's a mark of great advancement that you probably will no longer get killed in 5 minutes walking on 13th St NW or the parking lot of the SS Safeway.

THIS CITY IS SHIT. And, I've got news for you - if Silver Spring was in New York, Toronto, Chicago, Montreal, hell - any decent city on the continent - it would be the place you move to when your mom kicks you out of her basement at 35. So fuck it.

Mortis Olaf said...

Take your rage out in one of those cities then, sheesh.

Anonymous said...

Dear Captain Crybaby and the BooHoos,
A lifelong Washington Asshole

jerry'sdaughter said...

Sligo, welcome back. Always worth a post just to get going again.

Thomas Hardman said...

Sligo wrote:

"[...] they're in the state that I am a blogger of."

With all due respect, if I was capable of getting a migraine over Everything Done As Wrong As Could Possibly Be, I'd be ripping my midbrain out through my ears with a fondue fork and thinking of it as pure relief.

But you're right, in your dangling-participles conclusory-to-a-paragraph sort of way. Can't you take an example from "and to the Republic, for which it stands"? Literarily, it's apparent that you were either going for irony or posting while drunker that I usually am. Yet the fact remains that we poor wretches in the Contiguous Counties have a solemn duty to keep an eye on the rat bastards that Congress frequents when they think their constituents aren't looking.

No, Senator, we're not stalking your limo. However, we are sleeping with the BFF of your special bartender who gets you your special favors at the club you think nobody knows you frequent, the closed one that has, well, ahem... amenities. And ya know... you might think people don't talk. Discretion, Senator, is in the conscious mind of your servitors but you never know what they'll say in between snores.

As for the remarks by Anonymous@7:49-20080927, Um yeah.

It's not like we go out of our way to be polite. Aux Contraire, mon ami.

But let me close in my best condemnation of a huge pack of people who are never going to get ahead:

DC and environs might have some of the best food in the world and some of it is served by the most honest and diligent servers on the planet. But when it comes to dining out -- and in this area I damn sure don't:

"that the food is the best is irrelevant, if you cannot at all stand in whose company you must dine."

People who tout DTSS's restaurants as a reason to go there crack me up. I might order something to-go, but I'm not eating there.

I was raised to not eat where they let in animals. Violates health code dontcha know.

Sligo said...

Ur, Thomas, you do know what I am referring to, correct? Or am I simply misreading your comment?

Thayer Avenue said...

It would appear that people have missed your blog primarily as a focal point for spewing venomous rants. Even if you post something - anything - you can generate quite the discussion in the comment section.

Tina & Drew said...

I think some disemvoweling is in order Singular. :) Seems like you've attracted a whack pack following!

I love your blog for the light hearted content and the pop culture references.

Thomas Hardman said...

Ah, sligo...

My apologies, I've seen too much bad engrish on blogs; it didn't dawn on me that you were intentionally blogging in Mr Bush-II's oratacal style. ;)

Or, as better said elsewhere:

"People who are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history." - J. Danforth Quayle

However apropos might be the words of ex-VP Quayle as a predictor of who will be the victorious pair getting inaugurated next January, Ms Palin has something of a point. When you live right next to a superpower, you tend to pay attention. Ask a Canadian sometime; they're often better acquainted with our politics than we might be, if only because 'if Detroit sneezes, Windsor does of pneumonia' to paraphrase a common canadianism.

I might add a bit of interpretation to my remarks to anonymous... if you're getting crap service, maybe it's because people are trying to make you go away so you don't annoy their better customers.

And in conclusion... about keeping an eye on Washington, um, well, I actually do that, though more demonstrably than the esteemed governor from Alaska.

Sligo said...

Well, not Bush's. Hers.

Anonymous said...

Anon: If Silver Spring were put in the NYC area it would probably be akin to Brooklyn, which is booming, so I'll take it. Oh, and I'll look for you next time I'm driving on Colseville, hopefully I'll hit you.

mal funkshun said...

You have not mentioned the transit center. That's new. It's now impossible to get to Metro Silver Spring any time soon. Aesthetically, I am not impressed with the plans for this thing. Woe is us.

Thomas Hardman said...


Yeah, I have seen that.

Actually, you may now circulate a new conspiracy theory, which started right here!

No, nothing to do with Zombies... yet.

No, my demented conspiracy theory has to do with people who speak English as a second language, or maybe who speak proper English as a second language, or dialect, or whatever.

I am long since on record as stating that nobody should hire me as an ESOL teacher because I'd torment the students with such assignments as saying-20-times-fast such phrases as "with whom was which witch, as wily wildebeest wickedly whipped the wonderful white whale" mostly to get them used to the letter "W" and also to get a slight clue to the sole remnant in the language of case and declension, "who" v "whom".

Once they mastered that, I'd get them to mastering the whole "with which" construction as properly used to avoid dangling the participle.

No, really, I am not an English major! Not even a leftenant.

My point here being: some folks try rather hard to speak proper English and do rather well mostly because they learned it as a second language. Well-educated Russians are about the only people I have ever met outside of upper-class Brits who properly use "with which" and don't dangle a participle (or conclude with an adverb).

Hence, my conspiracy theory. Russia isn't merely the country she can see from home back in Alaska, it's the country she could see from her home, at home, when her home was Russia.

Hence the problems articulating a response. She tried to use proper English but then realized that this would indicate her to be a person educated far beyond anything available in Alaska or Idaho. No, people would know that she was a Sleeper Agent sent to help "Manchurian Candidate McCain"; thus, she immediately seized on the worst possible English she could possibly muster. She dangled her participle in a way that couldn't be bested even by GW Bush II after a night of heavy drinking with Dan Quayle.

Obviously, this conspiracy theory fails in the light of Ockham's Razor; it's a far simpler notion (and thus more likely) that she's just not up to speed either for elective office in the Federal Executive branch nor for that matter in speaking on camera with professional journalists.

So, am I an honorary Democrat, yet?

Vagrarian said...

While we're waiting for the Zombie Walk, y'all should check out Goatman Hollow in Riverdale, a terrific haunted house. I got a chance to take an advance tour on Saturday and it totally rocked. Look 'em up at

Thomas Hardman said...

And then there's the Bunny Man:

But yeah, the Goat Man is more Maryland.

Springvale Roader said...

Welcome back, Sligo, although I fear your return has been accompanied by an accidental rift in the space-time continuum, allowing great horned trolls to stream into our blogosphere.

Vagrarian, how far a ride is that Goatman haunted house. Sounds cool!

Vagrarian said...

Goatman Hollow is a six-mile drive from my office door at Georgia & Wayne; it's near the intersection of East-West Hwy and Rt 1.

It's worth every mile, let me tell you!

RedLineRider said...

"Anonymous" is just a troll. First of all: get a life! Second: There's a blog for people like you: whyihatedc. Go there. Don't let the door hit you, etc.

Third, I will rise to the bait a little bit: it sounds like you go to the wrong bars. Anyone (non-black) using the "n word" in a DC bar would not last long. Any bar charging "more than Manhattan prices" is a pretentious rip-off, and it caters to exactly the kind of pretentious douchebags you describe. And you, apparently. 'Nuff said.

Sligo said...

Is the Goatman the arch-enemy of the Chupacabra?

Thomas Hardman said...


I think you may have just discovered the plot line to the next Saturday Night Horror (or is that horrible Saturday night) presentation for the Sci-Fi Channel.

Subtitled "Genetic Experiment Gone Horribly Awry v. Escaped Space Alien Pet".

Details are left to the imaginations of the readers, though of course assorted starlets in various states of underdressed will have to be devoured, etc., along with their hapless swains.

coffee fiend said...

out of all the mythical, blood sucking creatures out there, the Chupacabra is almost certainly the sneakiest

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