Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Five Guys Peanuts a Threat to Nonexistent Children

It amuses me how the Tech Rd. Five Guys is full of signs warning customers not to take peanuts outside the store in order to protect "neighborhood kids" with peanut allergies. Huh? What neighborhood kids? Are there street urchins that live in the office park dumpsters who emerge at night to scour the ground for dropped peanuts? What the sign really should say is "Attention cheap bastards: don't even think about filling up a paper bag with peanuts and taking it back to your desk/house/car."

I guess there is a playground in the general vicinity, but are the peanuts going to travel a few blocks away and blow into the mouth of one of the 1 percent of children who are actually allergic?

(Speaking of that shopping center, a recently posted zoning board sign indicates that they are planning to add a Panera Bread.)



8 comments:

rtsind said...

If the area around Tech Rd. is anything like my neighborhood(Forest Glenn and Ga. Ave., perhaps the owners are worried that the squirrels will eat the peanuts and forget how to forage for their own food.

We have a lot of squirrel around my area who depend on peanuts and the population keeps growing.

I believe it is a terrorist plot- I recently saw a squirrel with a prayer rug and mumbling something that sounded Arabic-- so do not feed the squirrels.

Anonymous said...

Seriously - when did peanut allergies become a big deal? I was born in '71, and I think the first time I ever heard that anyone was allergic to peanuts was in the late 80s. Now it seems every other kid will die immediately if he even comes into contact with peanut dust. Did something happen, or is this just another manifestation of America's increasing paranoia?

Thayer Avenue said...

I don't know where these allergies came from, but they are for real. Would be interesting to know how these things developed. Maybe it was the squirrels who started it.

Dan Reed said...

You don't know how much this shopping center excites me. (I live maybe a half-mile away, but walking is very much out of the question.) It provides something we sorely lack Up The Pike - fast, not crappy food.

I'd go on about how I feel like it's becoming a new, neighborhood gathering place - but thats sorta B.S. and best saved for a post of my own.

Anonymous said...

Dan, I know! My house is just down the road in White Oak and this shopping center is awesome. Five Guys is great, plus Moe's and Panera? I go to college in Boston now and am quite pissed that none of this could have been built while I was living there full time. Of course, it might be for the best, because I'd weigh 300 pounds.

Anonymous said...

rtsind - not all squirrels are terrorists.

Anonymous said...

I teach part-time and unfortunately, peanut allergies are a big deal. We have kids who carry epi-pens 24-7 because their allergies can be fatal. I do agree with Anonymous though, because I don't remember anyone being allergic to peanuts when I was a kid.

Anonymous said...

It is hard to take peanut allergies seriously, because they are so drastic. One flight I was on recently offered bags of peanuts for sale ($1), but it was announced over PA "if you purchase some peanuts, we ask that you do not open them until we arrive at our destination." Evidently some kid was allergic to peanut-breath?!